For all these guys that think by proposing to a lady you are awarding her ticket to heaven, you better have a rethink.

I was just on my own sipping my malt as a gentleman wey I be, I saw over 10 guys walked in, each in a white T-shirt with the inscription “And Charles Proposed To Dinma”. Immediately they came into the public relaxation arena they took covers like assassin laying siege for their will-be victim. The way they positioned themselves at every corner of the drinking spot caught the attention of many who came for evening drink-out.

Meanwhile one of the guys (who I predicted as the chief actor) was putting on a jean trouser and a jean shirt with a color matched faze-cap. This dude sat at the centre of the arena unlike the minor actors who hid themselves at the corners. The guy man demanded a bottle of Heineken and was sipping it more gentler than myself. Checking his wrist watch at more frequent intervals he sighted the expected guests. At this point he adjusted on his seat, changed his posture and composure like that of an army General who is about to dish out orders.

Surging majestically into the arena were three damsels in whom the “construction” skills of God were made manifest. As they were drawing closer I could feel the rise in heartbeat of the husband to be. Immediately they got to the table where the guy man was seated, the gorgeously dressed face-capped dude in a slow motion stood up, removed his cap, unbuttoned his shirt, reached out to a small box containing an unknown content, kneeled down more slowly like a sinful man who accidentally finds himself in the presence of God. At once the minor actors ran out from their hiding corners and surrounded the proposer and the “proposee” singing a heart-touching song of congratulations. What a well rehearsed drama!

The three girls were just mopping but the prettiest of all was more flabbergasted. Inscribed on the inner T-shirt of the proposer was “I Give You My Heart”. The guy man in his usual slow motion, as he was kneeling down with his one knee, brought out an engagement ring and said “Dinma pls marry me”.

“No! No! No! No! Charles what’s the meaning of this? What sort of embarrassment is this? I can’t believe this nonsense. What for? Biko our relationship has not gotten to this huge joke!”, Dinma shouted in a rather harsh voice.

At this point the dude was physically freezed in his kneeling position, spiritually electrocuted and futuristically traumatized. The singing choir (minor actors) ceased “our” song. The blissful drama that attracted the attention of other drinkers turned into a mourning one.
I could hear one of the girls in her lowest voice saying “Chidinma pls pretend, people are watching us. Save him this embarrassment”.

This time shaking her head like one under demonic control, Dinma shouted again, “Pls, pls I can’t pretend with my life and future. Enough of this rubbish. Did I tell Charles that I am looking for who to marry? I know what I want”.

The formerly vibrant and bold Charles still in his kneeling position turned to a preacher, a begger and an adviser to Dinma. But still all fell to deaf ears. In anger Dinma worked out on all of them.

All the members of the drinking association around got involved uninvited. Some became preachers to Charles, some became morale builders while others were consoling my good man But me, I was a preacher.

These were facts we found out from the incident after Dinma had left:

* Charles and Dinma started dating in December, 2016 (3 months ago).

* Charles never gave Dinma any sign of marriage interest but decided to take her unawares (maybe he saw it as a favour that can never be turned down).

* Charles is financially stable and he flaunts his money that everybody notices him.

I advise guys to stop this nonsense Oyibo drama in proposing. Discuss it first with your woman if you must do it.

Oju Oni ti yiin o!!!!!

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